


strong, heavy, safe

by we_are_inevitable



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Burns, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Night Terrors, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27550945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_are_inevitable/pseuds/we_are_inevitable
Summary: Bad memories for Jack resurface, but David is there to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly
Kudos: 43





	strong, heavy, safe

He was stuck in a cloud of hazy memories that were smothering him, drowning him, taking the air from his lungs and leaving him defenseless in the pitch black. As his chest tightens, he feels himself running, but what is he running from? Where is he? He looks around with frantic head jerks in every direction, eyes wide, a terrified look on his face.  
Everything around him is distorted, blending together, merging with each other, but one thought, one fact, stood out amongst the chaos.

Jack Kelly was far from alone.

Everything stops when he sees the face of the man who appears suddenly before him. The man who was everything that the devil wished he could be. Jack is on the ground now, shaking as the man took a step forward. 

“You really thought you’d get away, Sullivan?” A voice rang in his ears, sounding as though it was coming from all directions.

This can not be real, can not be happening, no, no, no, Snyder was gone, The Refuge was gone, had been gone for months, but it looks so real, and he can see that glint in his eye, that sick, sick, terrifying look on his face, that fucking smile, and Jack’s heart skips in his chest.

His head is pounding. He can feel himself shaking like a leaf, tears pricking his eyes. He feels everything- every wind gust, the feeling of concrete under his knuckles, the weight of his knees on the cold, hard ground, but Jack can’t move. Can’t do anything but watch himself fight for breath, as if he were someone else standing behind himself. He didn't look like himself. For one, he looks to be shirtless- something about that doesn’t seem right. He’s never paraded himself around without his striped undershirt, at the very least. His hair is all over the place. Bruises cover his body. It was all so vivid, even as everything around him fell away, leaving nothing but darkness.

Though Jack couldn’t see him, Snyder takes a few steps around him, stopping right behind him. He freezes, tensing as something hard and sharp and heavy and hot presses against his back, right between his shoulder blades. 

Jack saw white.

The searing heat causes him to cry out so violently his chest heaves with the force. He arches away from it as quickly as he can, but the blunt object only follows. What is it? A cane? One of those batons that the bulls use? It feels... familiar, but Jack can’t see. Jack can’t think. Jack can’t do anything but pray to the god he doesn’t believe in.  
The burning pain only grows worse as Snyder twists the end of- of whatever it was against his skin, before pulling away with a dark laugh, rearing back for the first strike. Just as he hears the crack behind him and crumbled beneath the agony of the first blow, Jack’s eyes widen--

_\--hurts--_

_\--blood--_

_\--whip--_

_“--No!”_

Jack was screaming now, feeling himself shoot up off of the ground, immediately gripping his knees to his chest. He can’t see anything for a moment, eyes adjusting to the New York night, but he could feel. He was burning up. His chest hurt like hell. His back was on fire, phantom claws ripping at his skin, his scars. He was shaking, trembling, gripping fistfuls of his hair as he gasps for breath. Breathe, he reminds himself. Breathe. Breathe breathe _breathe--_

He was feeling everything at once but felt so damn numb, but didn't know if he was screaming or not, and wasn't sure if the hot tears rolling down his cheeks were real or just his imagination- but he felt them drop to his chest and felt the ache in his throat and everything was real and that just made everything so much worse.

Jack still didn’t know exactly where he was, what time it was, why he was still awake.

What he did know, however, was that now someone was touching him.

Everything came crashing down not a second later. Jack blinked the hot tears out of his eyes, suddenly aware of a body next to him. He jolted immediately, ripping his arm away from whoever- or whatever- had it in their soft hold. He curled over, covering his ears, eyes shut tightly as the sobs wracked his body, his forehead pressed against his knees, though the mystery person still had their arm around his shoulder. Too much, too much, too much. Jack desperately wanted to be alone but he wanted to be held and cared for but he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing him so broken and scared and upset and and and--

And it was a long while before Jack had enough coherence to make out a voice, and even longer before he was able to figure out what it was saying.  
“Jack, Jackie-- baby, come back to me... Hey, hey, shh, it's me- you're safe, no one is going to hurt you,” The voice whispered, and Jack slowly lifted his head, taking deep uneven breaths as he made eye contact with a pair of striking blue eyes.

David Jacobs.

David, the love of his life.

David, the man who he knew would never hurt him.

Still, he shied away from the gentle pressure of David's hand on his shoulder. David seemed to get the hint, opting to move in front of Jack, far enough away that they weren't touching but close enough for him to reach out if he needed to. 

“You're safe here, Jack- it was just a- a nightmare, yeah?” David spoke softly, looking down into Jack’s eyes with a worried look. Jack was still a bit disoriented, but even then, he could tell that David was trying desperately to piece together what had happened, what had made Jack- a fearless leader, a tough guy if there ever was one- break so hard.

Slowly, Jack nodded in response, sucking in a ragged breath. He moved his hands to rest on his knees, staring down at them. “I-I'm safe,” He repeated in a shaky voice, quickly wiping his eyes. “Y-You-- You ain’t gonna h-hurt me...”

“I would never, Jackie,” David whispered, moving closer.

Jack seemed… hesitant. His mind was working out if being closer to David was safe or not, and though the second guessing himself had historically proven him wrong on many occasions, he still couldn’t help it; however, even in the state he was in, Jack knew that David was safe. David was... home.

The strike had ended just over two months prior, summer was in full swing, and David had begun spending more and more nights with Jack atop his “penthouse.”

David had loved him. David had been there through it all. 

Davey wouldn’t hurt him.

Jack took the plunge and slowly rested his head against David’s shoulder, releasing a shuddering breath. Only a few seconds later, when it became apparent that the contact just wasn't enough, Jack moved. He took residence in David’s lap, which only ever happened when Jack was particularly stressed or upset or otherwise just not doing great. He hid his face in the crook of his neck, taking in a deep breath as David’s arms wound around his waist.

The embrace was strong. 

Heavy.

Safe.

They sat like that until Jack’s heart had stopped racing, until his grip wasn't so tight. At first, Jack hadn’t even registered the fact that David was rocking him, humming a familiar tune under his breath, but the calming motion combined with the rhythm and the soft voice had helped more than Jack cared to admit.

He steadily pulled back, just enough to look up at David, taking a slow, even breath. “Dave,” He started, cringing at how hoarse his voice sounded. How long had he been crying? Had he really screamed hard enough to wreck his voice so distinctly? “David, I… I’m real sorry, ya shouldn’t’a had to see that--”

“Jackie, no, don't apologize for this,” David murmured softly, cutting him off. He reached up, gently wiping Jack's cheek with the soft pad of his thumb. “You did nothing wrong, dear. Nothing. You're alright, you're /safe/, and that's all that matters right now,” He whispered, shooting him a reassuring grin, before slowly lying back against the thin blankets on the rooftop. Jack slotted into the space next to him, David’s arm wrapped protectively around his waist. They couldn't have gotten closer even if they tried. Their legs tangled together, keeping Jack close, grounded. “You look exhausted, Jackie... Try resting again. I'm right here, I won't leave your side. We still have a long time before the circulation bell rings,” David murmured, and Jack slowly nodded, his eyes closing.

David decided that they would talk it out whenever Jack was comfortable, whenever Jack wanted to let him know what had brought such a bad nightmare, a bad attack. He watched with a sad smile as Jack slowly drifted back into the peaceful sleep he deserved, gently kissing his forehead, before whispering, “I love you, Jack. Goodnight.”

\---

Sunrise from the rooftop had always been one of Jack’s favorite views, but he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, seeing David lying so close to him in the early morning light was beginning to replace that image in the lineup. 

If he focused hard enough on David’s heartbeat, Jack could have forgotten about the instances from just hours before.

He knew David would have questions. Hell, after a scene like that, Jack knew anyone would have had questions, and though David was his closest friend, though David was his lover, telling him what had happened in that goddamn nightmare was going to be hard. Jack didn’t like being vulnerable. He didn’t like it with the boys, didn’t like it with Katherine, and had yet to open up completely to David, but… now was as good a time as any, right?

He was pulled out of his thoughts as David stirred beneath him, and Jack suddenly realized that he was very much still lying on top of him. Jack sat up slowly, a soft smile on his face as he reached down and ran a hand through David’s hair, who in turn rolled over and opened an eye. “Mm… Mornin’, Jackie,” David said through a yawn.

They sat like that for a while, watching the sun rise in the sky. It was still early, so they would have about an hour before the bell rang and it was back to work on a hot summer’s day, but this alone time was exactly what they needed.

Conversation hung heavy in the air. Neither were ready to talk about the subject at hand, but, then again… would they ever be ready?

He decided to take the plunge.

“It was about The Refuge,” Jack said slowly, staring up at the sky as the silence broke, and he felt David shift onto his side, no doubt watching Jack for any sign of distress. That was what Jack loved most about his Davey; he never wanted to admit it, but he had a habit of watching people, waiting, making sure that they were alright. “That… that dream last night. It was about The Refuge.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Jack,” David murmured, reaching close to take Jack’s hand. He interlocked their fingers, squeezing one, two, three times. 

“I know, I know, but… I- I want ya to know, Dave,” Jack said slowly, taking a deep breath. “It… it wasn’t good. Kids sleepin’ three to a bunk, bugs ’n rodents everywhere, barely any food for any of us… I let Snyder know he was doin’ a shit job, and he... let me know he didn’t exactly care for kids talkin’ back,'' Jack said softly, rubbing his forehead. “He hurt me. Got the scars ‘n shit to prove it. And- and I know that The Refuge ain’t open no more, but them memories don’t just- they don’t go away, y’know? It ain’t somethin’ I can forget about… The dreams, they used to happen a lot more, but I didn’t… I didn’t know that they’d still happen after the strike.”

He didn’t want to go into detail, that could wait for another day, but he needed to say something about it. He’d never told another soul where all those scars came from, aside from Crutchie and Race, but they were his brothers. They knew him before his first stint in The Refuge, and they knew the new side of him when he got out. The side that couldn’t sleep alone, the side that cried every night for weeks after he finally made it back to the lodging house, the side that broke down so often that he didn’t think he deserved to be the ‘leader’ of the group. That was when Race had started to step up and pretty much become Jack’s right hand man, and when Crutchie started sharing the rooftop with Jack to make sure he wasn’t alone.

Jack didn’t say anything for a long while, and neither did David, but Jack eventually felt David pull him into his arms. He went without protest, leaning his head against David’s shoulder.

This felt… good. Jack felt as though a weight had lifted off of his shoulders. He took in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes closed, letting himself relax into David’s hold.

“Thank you for telling me,” David murmured, one arm wrapping around Jack’s middle. “I… I know nothing I’ll say can fix it, so I’m not even going to try, but no matter what happens, I’m here for you. Even when you’re acting like an idiot,” David nudged him, and Jack just scoffed, “and especially when you need to let everything out. I’ll never understand what you’ve been through, Jackie, but… but I can try, and I’ll help the best I can. Whether that’s listening or giving advice or just- just holding you when you need it, but you can count on me, okay?”

Jack nodded slowly, then looked into David’s eyes with a sad grin. “You can ask questions, y’know. I… I don’t mind.”

“Maybe some other time,” David said in a soft voice, running his hand through Jack’s curls. “Just let me hold you. Let me take care of you.”

Jack couldn’t say no.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i originally wrote this as a TGS one-shot but i modified it bc i loved this idea for jack


End file.
